Le Bon, le Mauvais, et la Belle
by Mamma4ever
Summary: These are outtakes for The Good, the Bad, and the Beautiful. Most will just be a different POV, but I may surprise you with deleted scenes *grin*
1. Close Encounters ofthe Embarrassing Kind

**Le Bon, le Mauvais, et la Belle**

_**(The Good, the Bad, and the Beautiful)**_

These are simply outtakes of The Good, the Bad, and the Beautiful (GBB).

Most likely, this will just be GBB from another POV, but I may occasionally add deleted scenes and whatnot, so you might want to put this on alert as well :)

This is chapter 7 from Edward's quirky brain. Bella titled it as 'Firsts'.

Edward chooses to change the title to 'Close Encounters of the Embarrassing Kind'

As always, my outtakes are not beta'd, so please be kind when you notice my mistakes.

Just because it's another title, doesn't mean I'm not still leasing.

EPOV

Do you know what it's like to be a guy, who is, er, _aroused_ darn near all the time, dating the most beautiful, alluring woman on the planet, and…have absolutely no idea how to even round second base? I mean, sure, I know the _mechanics_ of it, but…yeah, that's easier said than done. You know…how much pressure can a breast take? How much is enjoyable? And then I had read that some women's breasts aren't even sensitive to touch. What would I do then? If Bella didn't even like it? Does she even _want_ me to touch her in the first place?

I'm pretty sure she is at least _close_ to wanting me to, though, after what happened last week.

I was mortified when she came in contact with my erection, but she assured me it was fine and didn't gross her out. I had apologized and she told me that I shouldn't be sorry for something I had no control over. _If she only knew._

It had been getting harder and harder to control my thoughts, my desires, around her. Kissing her was like nothing I had ever experienced before. She tasted amazing. Her lips were so soft against mine, and it had been becoming harder and harder to not think of those lips on inappropriate places of my body.

_This is why you should never try to teach yourself sex education._

The World Wide Web was an amazing labyrinth of infinite wisdom, but…there is no such thing as a filter that only lets the educational aspect of sex through. If you type in sex, you get every single element of sex. So, unfortunately, on one of my informational endeavors, I came across some gratuitous pornographic material that would forever be branded into my brain. Images that would arise at the most _inopportune_ times. At those times, I would have to think of my great aunt Esmeralda (who my mom was named after) when she came to visit on the holidays. She was one of those old ladies who wore bright, cherry red lipstick, which was always _around_ their lips, instead of _on_ them only, and managed to end up with some on their teeth as well. She had had to give every child in the family 'sugar', as she liked to call it, which consisted of huge, sloppy kisses, leaving lipstick residue smudged across our cheeks. It was disgusting. And thinking about it, was the only thing that kept my testosterone-ridden little friend in my pants at bay.

So, knowing that she wasn't the least bit put off by my arousal, gave me hope that she might also be ready to take the next step. I wanted to be a gentleman. I had been taught to always respect women, and I never wanted to look at Bella as a sex symbol, but Lord, have mercy…I could hardly contain myself around her. If I were being honest with myself, I would say that I had been ready to take the next step from the moment we took the first step. Kissing her made me think of French kissing her, which made me think of groping her, which made me think of…let's not go there.

I'm a nervous wreck. We are sitting under our tree, trying to study. Truth be told, when we _studied_, the only thing I studied was Bella. The contours of her face, her neck, her shoulders, her hips, her thighs. I tried desperately not to focus too much on her breasts and the curves of her buttocks, and especially not the apex of her legs, and how sometimes her pants were a little too tight and I could see the outline of…yeah, that's when I mentally slapped myself and focused back on my 'studies'.

Today is especially hard because last night I had a very graphic dream involving Bella, myself, and a bottle of chocolate syrup. I felt like such a sleazeball for thinking of Bella in that way, and I felt like an even bigger scuzzbucket for having to _remedy_ the situation in the shower upon wakening. As I lathered up, took myself into my hand, and began stroking, inadvertently picturing Bella's soft little hands doing the stroking, I was more and more ashamed of myself. And as I reached my release in the midst of the steaming hot water, her name softly falling from my lips, I berated myself for turning into such a perverted, hormonal, sex maniac. _Can you be a sex maniac if you haven't actually __**had**__ sex?_

To make matters worse, in front of me, sits my coursework for today. None other than the reproductive system.

_The human female reproductive system is a series of organs primarily located inside of the body and around the pelvic region of a female that contribute towards the reproductive process. The human female reproductive system contains three main parts: the vagina, which acts as the receptacle for the male's sperm, the uterus, which holds the developing fetus, and the ovaries, which produce the female's ova. The breasts are also an important reproductive organ during the parenting stage of reproduction. _

So, we have vagina, sperm, breasts. Vagina, sperm, breasts. Bella's vagina, my sperm, her breasts. Bella's vagina, my penis…wait. That's not right. _Focus, Edward!_

I turn to the next page. _Oh good God, there are pictures._

_The vagina meets the outside at the vulva, which also includes the labia, clitoris and urethra; during intercourse this area is lubricated by mucus secreted by the Bartholin's glands. The vagina is attached to the uterus through the cervix, while the uterus is attached to the ovaries via the fallopian tubes. At certain intervals, typically approximately every 28 days, the ovaries release an ovum, which passes through the fallopian tube into the uterus. The lining of the uterus, called the endometrium, and unfertilized ova are shed each cycle through a process known as menstruation._

_Major secondary sexual characteristics include: a smaller stature, a high percentage of body fat, wider hips, development of mammary glands, and enlargement of breasts._

Lubricated, vagina, wider hips, enlargement of breasts. Hands grasping enlarged breasts and wider hips, and…lubricated vagina.

I quickly close my book – more like slam – startling Bella with the loud thud. I look at her and smile uneasily. "Sorry. I…um." I chuckle nervously. "All done with that subject!" I nearly scream as I grab my Calculus book from my bag. I glance back at Bella and she is grinning with her eyebrows raised. "What?"

She giggles, "You have only had that book opened for five minutes, how could you be done so quickly?"

I lift up my hand, my forefinger outstretched, heading toward my temple when she stops me.

"Yeah, yeah, photographic memory; got it." She rolls her eyes. "You're so lucky."

"It's not always a good thing to have, you know." Especially after seeing the pictures I just saw when I am sitting beside my super hot girlfriend.

"You're right. I'm sorry. I just wish I didn't have to study, like you don't. It would make life so much easier." She reaches over and grabs my hand. This is how it always starts. First, hand holding. Then, footsies and finger twiddling. Next, small pecks. Then, larger pecks. And next thing you know, we are full-blown playing tonsil hockey.

This was no different. Except, _this_ time my mind was being bombarded with visualizations that were making it excruciatingly difficult to keep my hands to myself. Without any preconceived intent, my hand finds her face as I continue to kiss her. A few more minutes, and my hand begins to lower. I circle my thumb around her collarbone instinctively. I feel goosebumps rise underneath my fingertips. My hand lowers once again, so very close to her voluptuous breasts. I want so bad to hold them, but I can't help but feel like I'm forcing something she may not be ready for.

But, I don't have to worry, because she takes my hand and places it directly on her peak. I freeze. I definitely was not expecting that. I gulp and pull back to look her in the eye. She smiles.

_Set your phasers to stun! Set your phasers to stun!_

Now, I kiss her with more fervor, cupping her breasts with both hands, albeit still cautiously. She scoots closer to me, and pushes her knee in between my legs and touches my…

_Woah, Nelly!_

I stop all movement and warn Bella, but she pulls me back and continues kissing me. It's so hard to resist her when she's kissing me. Her kisses are my kryptonite, so I simply groan and let her continue. Everything she is doing is astounding, but I am ashamed to give in to the moment. I am afraid that I won't be able to control myself and I will take advantage of her. No, not like _that,_ but I want to be respectful, and it is incredibly difficult.

She runs her hand through my hair and it goes straight to my groin. _Great aunt Esmeralda, great aunt Esmeralda, great aunt…_ It's not working.

She whispers, "Edward, relax. Enjoy. Does it not feel good?" _Is this woman nuts? _'Good' is an understatement.

I can't look at her. I squeeze my eyes shut and speak under my breath, "You have no idea. I just…it doesn't seem right…_gentlemanly_…for me to behave that way around you, Bella." I feel like a piece of garbage for even contemplating this.

"Edward. Look at me." I peek out slightly, only to focus on her shoulder. She ducks and looks me in the eye. "I _want_ you to enjoy it, Edward. I've never wanted to do anything like this before I met you, but now…well, I want to make you feel good. Knowing that I am the one making you feel good makes me feel good. Please?"

_Holy mother of Sha Ka Ree!*_

I take a deep breath and look her in the eye. Horribly embarrassed, I grin and softly say, "Okay."

She smiles an earth-shattering smile, and I feel my stupid cheeks heat up. I hate the fact that I take after my mom and blush like a dang school girl. It's not even fair for a dude to have to deal with this. She pulls me back into a kiss and pushes her leg between mine. I moan as she comes in contact with my throbbing erection. It feels incredible, and I want her to feel good as well, so I place my hand back on her breast and start caressing gently. When she responds with a moan of her own, it spurs me on, to be a tad more _rambunctious__, _but just a tad.

As I squeeze with slightly more pressure, I have to pull away from her because I am quickly starting to hyperventilate. I breathe against her jaw as I kiss a soft trail toward her neck. I know I am panting heavily, but I can't even attempt to hold it back.

I kiss just under her ear and whisper, telling her how good it feels. Well, at least I _attempt_ to tell her how it feels, but it comes out rather jumbled. Regardless, she seems to get the point. As I still pant against her lips between kissing, she squeezes my hips and continues the movement of her thigh. My breathing is getting more erratic and I am probably applying to much pressure to her breast, but I can't help it. Trying to distract myself, I kiss her again, but without warning my hips buck against her, causing me to moan again against her skin.

I'm so close. I try to warn her. It comes out as a bunch of incoherent words and I realize she isn't going to stop. So I do. But she continues. _Great aunt Esm…oh, Bella…no, great au…amazing…no, no, great…so great, more than great._

She pulls away the slightest bit and whispers, "Come on, Edward."

And Mount Kilimanjaro suddenly erupts in my pants. I'm pretty sure some curse word slips from my lips as well, but I'm not positive. What I _am_ positive about is that even though I just experienced most magnificent feeling in the world, I am now humiliated beyond words.

I keep my eyes shut as I slip my hands to her back and begin rubbing circles, waiting for my breath to return to normal. She reaches up and smoothes out my forehead and kissed me on the cheek. I pull her tightly into a hug and rest my forehead on her shoulder.

She tries to lean back – I'm not sure why – but I don't let her. I don't want her to look me in the eye right now. She kisses my shoulder and then my neck. I explain to her how awful I feel for what just transpired and how I promise that it will never happen again.

She grabs a handful of my hair and jerks my head back. Now, it didn't really hurt, but for some strange reason, it causes that part of me – that is now disgustingly slimy – that I have been trying (unsuccessfully, mind you) to restrain all day, to come alive once again_. __Seriously? Why?_

I don't hear much of what she says next because I am trying to picture her as Great Aunt Esmeralda as she speaks, in order to get Admiral Archer** back under control. I manage to hear the end of her speech and she tells me of her plan to make sure that it happens again. _I don't think so, Missy._

I tell her I'm not so sure about that and how disgusting this mess is in my pants.

She giggles and apologizes, but makes sure I know she is merely sorry for the mess.

"What am I gonna do with you, Umbella? You're going to be the death of me, huh? I have no hope of protecting my virtue around you, do I?" I laugh heartily, kiss her, and pull her to her feet right after me. "We reeeallly need to head back. This is starting to dry, and I can't imagine it is going to be a pleasant removal process."

We walk back to her dorm, holding hands, and when we reach the front of her building, I pull her into a hug and kiss her with all the passion I possess, and whisper in her ear, "Thank you, Bella. It may have been embarrassing, but I wouldn't want to experience that with anyone else. Besides…" I pull back enough to grin. "I slightly enjoyed it." She raises an eyebrow at me, so I twist my mouth and chuckle. "Okay, more than slightly, but let's drop it at that." _Please, for the love of all that is holy..._

I pull her into a goodbye kiss and we bid each other farewell.

I head back to my building promptly and make a beeline for the showers. I'm not going to go into the dreadful details of how awful the cleanup is, let's just say; I hope you never have to do this yourself.

I finish my shower and go to my room to write my paper that is due tomorrow. I must have a euphoric look on my face, because my roommate, Riley, asks me, "What's got you grinning like a clown on crack?"

"Ah, nothing, man, it's just been a good day, today, that's all." I grab my headphones to pop them in, letting him know I'm not wanting conversation at the moment, but before they are secured in my ears, he starts shaking his head. I stop and look at him expectantly.

"Dudes don't walk in smiling like that unless they just busted a nut up in some chick." He looks at me cockily, and continues, "You finally got a piece of that sweet ass you've been drooling after, didn't you?"

Now, I'm not as dorky as Alfalfa, but I totally agree with his philosophy of being a lover and not a fighter. However, just like he would fight for his Darla, I will fight for my Bella. I step closer to Riley, my forefinger extended, aiming straight for his face as I hover over him where he is seated on his bed.

"I will let you off with a warning, this one time, and one time only. Don't you ever speak about Bella like that again. Ever! Got it?" I speak calmly, but I am sure the underlying threatening tone is abundantly clear.

He holds up his hands defensively. "You got it, man. I don't mean no disrespect. I promise."

I nod, and continue to my desk to power up my computer. I briefly check my emails and find nothing of importance, so I begin my paper.

An hour into it, I get an email alert. Knowing that I only gave out my email to Bella, my parents, and my sister, I am excited to think it might be Bella. I can't help it. I love any correspondence with her, no matter how long it has been since I recently saw her.

However, it is a reply to a post I had recently made on a forum. The forum was supposed to be a place where the inexperienced can come for answers to any questions they have about sex. The rules state that there is no judgment, discrimination, or defaming allowed. They want people to have a place to go where they can real answers from an Average Joe, without worrying about being ridiculed.

I had questions. I needed answers. So, I signed up and asked. This is my first response, so I am a bit nervous as to what it suggests.

_SexualEnterprise __(hey, don't laugh…I __**am**__ on _a purposeful or industrious undertaking (especially one that requires effort or boldness))

_I totes get where you're coming from. It's very difficult to try not to disrespect your lady while also touching her in places you have always deemed inappropriate. However, know this…she most likely wants you to do this more than you are wanting to, if she is as inexperienced as you say. The best advice is just to take it slow and make sure you watch her reactions as you try. You will be able to tell if she isn't ready. Not that I think you will, but make sure you don't pressure her. And by pressuring, I mean also to make her feel guilty if she isn't ready. Again, you don't seem like the type to do this, but if you want there to be a chance again later, you need to make sure you know going into it that there is a chance the first time may not go as planned._

_Good luck, dude._

After the day I had with her today, I now know that she isn't opposed to going to the next level. However, there are _still_ further levels to go. I can't help but think of how much I want to see her in ecstasy after her seeing me and apparently enjoying it.

Almost instantly, I get another email. Another response to the post.

_SexualEnterprise_

_If your lady loves Star Trek as much as you, you should give her a Spocker. She will worship you after that._

I sit there, racking my brain, trying to think what in the world a 'Spocker' is. Eventually, I realize, if I had read it, it would be etched into my brain along with the millions of other things I have stored there. I decide to Google it…Google being the answer to everything.

I don't pay attention; I click on the first result on the page. Let me just forewarn you: Do NOT do this. Read the brief description before you click. Especially, if you remember everything you see. This is one vision that will never be unseen.

_I am sorry that mankind has defiled your image, Mr. Spock. Can I also say, I will never give the Vulcan salute again?_

UrbanDictionary defines the Spocker as:

_Inserting one's index and middle fingers into a woman's vagina and the ring and pinky fingers in her anus. Similar to the shocker(two in the pink one in the stink).  
Two for the live long, two for the prosper _

And let me tell you…I will never be doing that to my Bella. My Bella? Where did that possessiveness come from?

I finish my paper – ignoring three more responses to my post in the meantime – and hop in the bed to read for a while. Before I do, I send a quick text to Bella telling her how amazing today was, because let's face it…it was amazing. Before I back out, I rush to add how I want to reciprocate, and then I sign off with, 'sweet dreams', hoping she won't respond tonight.

But of course she responds tonight. She tells me how much she enjoyed it as well, but that she's nervous and embarrassed for me to repay the favor. Of course, I don't know why she seems to think she is more nervous or embarrassed than I was, so I explain to her how I was mortified and then I basically beg her to let me have a turn.

Several minutes go by and she doesn't respond. Shoot, that was out of line.

I quickly text her to apologize.

Almost immediately she responds explaining that she's tripping out because I called her my girlfriend.

I am completely dumbfounded, because I just can't understand why she wouldn't think she was my girlfriend. I text her back immediately.

_Of *course* you're my girlfriend! What're you thinking? I only want to be with you. Do you not want me to be your boyfriend? I should have asked first, huh?_

It's not long before she replies.

_I would love to be your girlfriend and in return would love for you to be my boyfriend. :) Do I get to wear your class ring? Your Letterman jacket? *grin*_

Oh my goodness. Is she serious? She knows I never played sports – I was always in more academic extracurriculars, but I do still have my class ring from high school…

I decide to humor her, if that's what she wants. At this point, I am willing to do anything she wants.

_I actually do have a class ring from my high school. Do you have one? We could be all kinds of cliché and swap rings. It would be awesome! What d'ya say? :)_

Her response throws me, because it doesn't even acknowledge what I just sent. I shrug and reply that she doesn't really need beauty sleep, but her brain needs to sleep, and I wish her a good night.

I sleep incredibly peaceful after that.

* * *

It's now three days later, and I have a plan. I am a nervous wreck. As a matter of fact, if you looked up 'nervous wreck' in the dictionary, there would be a big ole picture of me. I continue to chant to myself, _It's a normal happenstance between a man and a woman. She will enjoy it as much as I did (probably more, since she doesn't have gooey residue to interfere). You can do it! You can do it!_

Does that help to calm my nerves? Not a nary bit.

However, when her beautiful, brown eyes look back me, twinkling with a smile, they manage to calm my nerves with more success than the strongest prescription of Xanax out there. _Not that I'd know from experience; it's strictly hypothetical._

Once Physiology class begins, the nerves start to stir again. I'm not able to use her gaze as a calming effect, so I do things like bounce my knee, strum my fingers on the desk, and running my fingers through my hair – a habit I completely loathe. Amidst all of this, however, I am having a horrible time containing my grin. I have a secret and I'm dying to spill, but I know it will ruin the surprise if I do, so I keep my mouth shut. Class is being dismissed and I realize I had not been paying the least bit of attention. Too bad my eidetic is strictly visual instead of auditory.

I jump out of my seat and swiftly grab her bag. I notice she's not moving, so I hold out my hand, offering to help her. She just sits there. I nearly huff at her and say, "Well? Are you com…ing?" Shoot! I really tried to stay away from that word today. Like an elementary kid responds when someone says 'fart' or something equally hysterical to them, I can't help but laugh every time I think or say 'come' now. I bit my lip, to keep from laughing, and turn away.

"Why are you acting so weird today? Did you forget your Adderall?"

_My Adderall?_ Does she really think I have ADD? Do I act like I have ADD? OCD, I can see, but ADD? I thought I paid attention really well. I can't believe she thinks I have an attention disorder.

My thoughts must be showing on my face, because she instantly holds her hands up saying, "I'm joking, Edward! Geez. What a tragedy it would be for you to have an attention disorder." I can hear the sarcasm in her voice, but I still can't help but think she really may suspect there is something wrong with me. Well, besides the obvious nerdy, eidetic memory, clean freak, perfectionist issues that I have.

"Stop being childish, Bella, and come on. I want to get…" NO! I can't tell her where I want to get to yet. "I'm hungry and I want to get a sandwich." Dang it! Thoughts of our tree cause me to blush yet again. _Curse you, Platt blood and all of your profuse blushing!_

She gets out of her seat, and in a voice sounding more like Eliza Doolittle than Keira Knightley, she says, "Let's go, Romeo."

I chuckle and roll my eyes. She is just too darn cute. "That's why I love y…" _Holy torpedoes, Batman!_ I nearly let that slip. "Hanging out with you, Umbella. You always act like yourself. No withholding of your true personality." _Nice save!_ I pull her close and finish with, "As quirky as your personality may be." _Your quirkiness is my favorite part of you…_

She then lets me know I am as quirky as her – something I would never deny – and she uses that awful nickname she loves to call me, teasing me for my proper use of medical terminology.

I make sure to keep her distracted all the way to our tree. She knows we go to the deli after class, so I have to keep her mind on something else until we reach our destination. I accomplish this with friendly banter. And it worked, because now we are standing in front of our tree, where I had come before class and set up a picnic basket and blanket.

However, now my nerves were in full swing…multiplied by the tenth power.

"Edward?" Her voice startles me and I almost scream like a girl. _Get it together. You can't fall apart now, you lily-livered lunatic. _"Are you…okay?"

I take a deep breath, focus myself, and say, "Yes, I'm sorry. I just…have something on my mind and I was distracted. I'm focused now." I smile sincerely. "Let's eat. I'm famished!"

I tell her I have her favorites and she responds telling me how much it means that I have remembered her favorite things. _I could never forget anything you tell me. I don't need a special memory to remember everything about you, Bella._

The lunch is nice and it's able to calm me quite a bit, so that I am mostly relaxed by the time we finish eating. We clean up the mess, and as soon as the basket is closed, I can't take another minute without kissing her.

As usual, the kiss is breathtaking, and becomes heated rather quickly. I pull her down so we are both lying on the blanket. I cup her cheek and deepen the kiss even more. As our tongues meet, I can't hold back the moan that escapes.

_It's now or never, big boy._

I lower my hand to her neck, her shoulder, her arm and finally to her waist. I keep my hand at her waist momentarily as I kiss her zealously. I push ever so slightly so that she is on her back and I am above her. I rub circles on her waist with one hand while the other is running through her hair. I need her to be calm as well. I start to lower my hand from her waist, and she tenses up.

I pull my lips from hers the tiniest bit and whisper, "It's okay, Bella. Just relax." _What if she doesn't want this?_ "Unless…I mean…I'm not going to force you or anything, but if you let me do this, I promise you will enjoy it. Do you…do you want me to stop?" _Please say no, please say no, please say no._

She shakes her head and I can't help but smile. I am ecstatic that she wants me to continue. I go back to kissing her, but I keep my hand still until I know she is relaxed. I'm not an expert, but I am pretty sure it's much easier and most likely more enjoyable when you are relaxed.

She is finally completely at ease, so I lower my hand, but I start from her inner thigh, so as to lessen the shock value…for both of us…once I reach my goal. I move my hand higher, excruciatingly slow (at least to me) until I finally I make it where no man has gone before. She jumps when I touch her, but I just chuckle and press a little harder.

Her reaction lets me know I am in the right place and doing the right thing because she is responding with moans and small twitches here and there and her breathing has become labored. I move my lips from hers to her cheek, then her neck, and then her earlobe. As I suck her earlobe she begins bucking her hips so that my hand creates more pressure. She's moaning and whining and arching her back, and it's the most beautiful sight in the world. She squirms and a squeak escapes from her mouth and I know she is close, so I release her lobe from my lips and whisper, "Let go, Bella. Cum for me."

I have no clue where that bravado came from, but I am so glad I lost control of my brain filter in that moment, because the magnificent sight before me at this moment replaces every single event that has ever taken place in my life. Seeing Bella come undone is going to be at the top of my list of 'favorite moments' until the day I die.

Once she opens her eyes, I know I am smiling like the cat that ate the canary. "You're right." She looks at me questioningly. I gently kiss her lips and tell her, "Seeing your face in _that moment_ was beyond wonderful."

She giggles and replies, "You were right too, you know?" I quirk my eyebrow. "It _was_ mortifying, but lucky for me, it's not all disgusting for girls." She smirks and then kisses me again.

I give her the option of staying here or heading back to her room, and she wants to stay here. Of course, she also has to make suggestions of reciprocation, but there's no way that's happening. At least not unless we are close to a shower or sink or something else capable of cleaning the mess.

She still tries, and I still block her, even using her given name as warning, and she finally gives in – albeit with a pout.

"But, we can still kiss, right?"

_Again, woman, what are you thinking?_

"Of course. I think I would die if I couldn't kiss you."

And now that I have successfully crossed second base, I have the horrible responsibility of researching _third_ base now.

_I may need something more potent than Great Aunt Esmeralda by the time I'm done here._

_~*~For the non-Trekkies out there ~*~_

_*Sha Ka Ree was__ entity claiming to be God but was actually a malevolent noncorporeal being discovered by the Vulcan Sybok and the crew of the USS Enterprise-A in 2287. It was imprisoned on a planet located within the Great Barrier, at the centre of the galaxy, which was believed by Sybok to be Sha Ka Ree of Vulcan mythology._

_**Admiral Archer (Jonathan Archer) was a legendary Starfleet officer and captain of the Enterprise NX-01, United Earth's first full-fledged starship. In that role, he was responsible for greatly expanding United Earth's presence in the Alpha and Beta Quadrants, and making first contact with more than a dozen species, among them the Klingons, Andorians, and Xindi._

_**A review just might give you another teaser for GBB ;)**_


	2. Misunderstood

As always, my outtakes are not beta'd, so all mistakes are my own. Sorry for sucking so bad *grin*

SM may own Edward and Bella, but I own this guy – all mine! (well, Alitriona seems to think he's her husband, so I may have to share)

MPOV

That lucky son of a bitch. How in the hell had he managed to score the sexiest female I had ever come in contact with? Yeah, I had been around thousands of hot women, don't get me wrong, but there was just something about this woman. It might have been her innocence, it might have been her ignorance of just how sexy she was. Or maybe it was none of those things. Maybe it was just me wanting something I knew I couldn't have.

_Or could I?_

I'm staring at the email I intercepted from Edward to _.com_ with the confirmation of their plans for New Year's Eve. Yes, I am a sick bastard for snooping through my brother's private conversations with his girlfriend, but…

_But what?_

I'm fucking insanely jealous. Ever since that first night I saw her…at that party…looking like Aphrodite in the flesh. As I watched her saunter over to me, seeming drawn to me in some strange way, I felt my leather pants get so fucking uncomfortable that I nearly had to rip them off right then and there. She had been smiling as she continued to walk toward me and I was already imagining her naked and sweating beneath me. In my mind I was already sucking on her perfect perky tits and had my fingers already buried in her pussy. The closer she got, the harder I became. I had just known that in a matter of minutes I was going to have her screaming my name.

That was until she called me _his_ fucking name.

_What in the fucking hell?_

All my life, I had done everything to keep from looking like _him._ I never dressed like his preppy ass. I never let my crazy hair just flop around and do whatever it wanted. Ok, granted, I put product in my hair mainly to keep myself from running my damn fingers through it like _he_ does – a stupid habit I couldn't break no matter how fucking hard I tried. I was _never_ clean shaven. I thought it was pretty fucking obvious that I looked nothing like him.

Obviously not.

When she called me by his name, I was beyond pissed. Mere seconds before I had been ready to fuck her until the cows came home, but after that my dick was as limp as a motherfucker. I had stormed out of that party without even looking back. I was furious.

Edward had always managed to ruin everything for me. Without even trying.

On my way back to my apartment, I started thinking about the brown-eyed beauty again. And my fucking limp dick came back to life. _FUCK!_

I decided that the best way to rid my mind of fucking _her_ was to go fuck someone else, so I altered my path to head toward my favorite pick-up bar. It also just happened to be the only bar in town that didn't ID me.

As soon as I walked in the door, the first thing I did, was search out the available fucks lining the bar. _Tanya._ She'd have to be good enough. The best thing about Tanya? She was such a fucking whore that I didn't even have to _try_ to be seductive.

I walked up to her, grabbed her by the elbow and started walking toward the door.

"Mace! What the fuck? You could at least say, 'hi' or something."

I stopped dead in my tracks. "Tanya, do you want to fuck or not? If I wanted to be pleasant, I would have found another bitch that hadn't had every Tom, DICK, and Harry in her before. Now, do you want my cock or not? I don't have time for this shit." _Yes, I am a prick. But watch her reaction._

"Of course I want you, but you should have been a bit more polite to me at least," she said, almost ashamedly.

"Like I said…if I wanted polite, I would have found someone else. Now come on."

Another great thing about Tanya? I didn't have to take her anywhere. She'd fuck wherever I wanted to. That night, it just happened to be against the wall of the bar. In plain fucking sight of anyone who walked by. And she didn't even give a fuck.

I didn't bother with the pleasantries. I just wanted to get that gorgeous brunette out of my head. What better way than with a woman who was her complete opposite? I unzipped my pants and pulled my cock out and shoved her down to her knees. Tanya could suck dick so much better than the average girl. I don't think she had a fucking gag reflex.

She took my cock into her mouth and I grabbed two handfuls of her hair and started ramming the shit out of her mouth. She hummed against my dick and on any other occasion this might have helped the situation, but when she hummed I looked down. When I looked down I saw the wrong head on my cock. I closed my eyes and tried to picture Brown Eyes with her luscious lips wrapped around me and sucking with all of the force that…

"Fuuuuuck! Fuck, Brown Eyes. Yes!" I moaned out. Now, know this…I. Do. Not. Make. Noises. When. I. Cum. But, FUCK, seeing Brown Eyes' lips wrapped around my dick was enough to make me react in ways I never had before.

I still had my eyes closed when she pulled her mouth off of my dick. "I have blue fucking eyes, you prick."

Reality came back in full force. Fucking _Tanya_ had just given me that blow job, not beautiful Brown Eyes. Oh well. I nutted, and that's all that mattered.

"What the fuck ever. Like it matters what color your fucking eyes are anyway." I zipped up my pants and she just looked at me in disbelief.

"What the fuck?"

I looked at her in boredom and started to walk away. She grabbed my arm. I jerked away and spun around pointing my finger in her face. "Don't ever fucking touch me unless I tell you to, got that?"

Her jaw dropped and she said, "So, what…you let me suck your dick but then I can't touch you? What the fuck is your problem tonight, Mace?"

I shook my head and walked away. Don't feel sorry for Tanya. She'd probably already fucked three guys that night and I'm sure she'd be fucking more before the night was out. There was no way I could stick my dick in her and get off once I had imagined Brown Eyes. I was thoroughly fucked.

After that night I had tried everything to get her out of my brain. It was obvious I couldn't fuck her out, like I had hoped. I was not a fan of fisting your mister, but if I had ever planned to leave my apartment again, I had to become a fan…and quick. I was damn near permanently hard after that night. I found myself whacking off way more than what a doctor would probably deem as healthy.

And every fucking head of brown hair made my dick twitch. Until I saw the face.

The next thing I knew, I found myself keeping tabs on my brother. She had called me Edward, so that meant she knew him, and if she knew him, she would come in contact with him. So, I was following him until I saw him with her. And then, like a fucking freak stalker, I followed her back to her dorm.

And then even worse, I started monitoring Edward's emails and texts and even phone calls. _Yes, I know that I am a piece of shit. Trust me, I'm not delusional as well._

I found out her name was Isabella Marie Swan. She preferred to be called Bella, that was obvious from her signature. She was an only child – lucky her – and her mom died when she was younger. She lived in Forks with her father. Yadda, yadda, yadda. Of course this was all _very_ interesting to me, but I didn't want to know her history. I wanted to know _her._ Every fucking thing about her. Her favorite color. Her favorite smell. Her favorite food. Her favorite movie. Her favorite quote. Her favorite book. All of these things that I couldn't find in a database, no matter how hard I fucking tried.

_But Edward knew._

Edward knew all about her. She had been spending every spare moment with Edward. They even had a 'secret' tree where they spent their afternoons. _Sucking face…_

God, what I'd give to be able to do the things he did to her. It wasn't long after that that I had my opportunity. The Halloween party. I knew they were going because I had tracked the costume purchase Edward had made. _Fucking Star Trek._

I arranged everything. I made it so Edward would be late to the party, but Isabella would not. She would wait for him. An hour. That was plenty of time. I just wanted to taste her. Hold her. I really thought that if I could just get that out of my system, I could walk away. It was probably some psychological aspect of wanting what you can't have, and once I had her I wouldn't want her anymore.

_Fuck, I was so wrong. So, so, so fucking wrong._

I came up behind her and wrapped my arms around her waist. _So soft. So perfect._ She jumped, but I pulled her tighter and whispered in her ear and then sucked her lobe into my mouth. I was done. So fucking done. I had never felt so…so right…as I had in that moment.

She moved her head to the side, giving me more access to her gorgeous neck. I admit I was a bit rough, but I couldn't fucking help it. As I sucked her neck harder, I trailed my hands further around her waist. I told her how hot she looked and that I wouldn't be able to keep my hand off of her. I had even slipped and said 'fuck' about her boots. I knew my brother and I knew she had _never_ heard him say that. He was too much of a gentleman to say something so 'vulgar' in front of a lady. She didn't even seem to notice though.

She twisted to look at me and her mouth was gaping. I was preparing to defend my lack of Trekkie costume (do you honestly think _I_ would be wearing Spock? Get real.), but I didn't even need to. She had had a mistake in her costume – well, _she_ may call it a mistake, but daaaamn, it was far from a mistake – and she just accepted mine as being a mistake as well. And she liked it.

She looked so inviting just standing there snickering, so I stepped forward, pressing myself against her magnificent body and I kissed her. I was sure that my luck would run out the moment my lips touched hers, so I made the kiss small and sweet, but she fucking whined when I pulled away. I couldn't help it, that made me feel so cocky, so I just smiled and kissed her again. That time was with more force. She wrapped her arms around my neck and I moaned. _Fucking again with the noises…_

I snaked my hands around her waist and pulled her tighter to me. I was getting further and further out of control. She licked my lips and I was fucking gone. I wasn't about to deny her access to my mouth, and once her tongue was dancing with mine, I couldn't stop myself from grinding against her.

She pulled back and I thought for sure that was all I was going to get for the night, but she surprised me by talking about an audience. _Well, that can be fixed easy enough._

I pulled her back into the shadows where I was sure no one would see and I shoved her against the wall. I couldn't take it slow anymore. I had had a taste and I wanted more. I needed more. I went back to kissing her and lowered myself so that my cock was grinding against her pussy. _Fuck, I could have came right then and there._

She grabbed a handful of the ridiculous jumpsuit I was wearing and again, I lost control and hummed against her lips. I literally started dry humping her as I slipped my tongue back in her mouth. I needed more of her. I grabbed her ass and lifted her to straddle my waist. The kissing and grabbing was so fucking amazing, I wasn't sure I'd be able to handle much more without blowing my fucking load right in my fucking boxers.

I trailed my fingers up her thighs and under her skirt to the edge of her panties. I hadn't planned on going this far…this was too fucking far, so fucking low and dirty, but _fuck my life_ I couldn't stop. I was so close to her pussy and I was almost sure I could smell her arousal. So I fucking did it. I slipped my fingers under her panties and touched her, and she squeaked. Just as I thought. She had never been touched before. I was a sick fucking bastard. But I couldn't fucking stop myself.

I told her to be quiet and even let her know I was planning to make her cum, and she wasn't appalled, no…not at all. She pressed her fucking pussy against my fingers, threaded her fingers in my hair and kissed the ever-loving shit out of me. My hat slipped off and started to choke me, but she took it off and dropped it to the floor.

I continued to kiss her and finally slid my finger into her. She groaned and bucked against me and my finger went even deeper. She was so fucking tight that I wasn't even sure I could fit a second finger in.

Isabella was panting against my lips so hard that I was sure she was going to pass out from lack of oxygen if I didn't let her breathe. I moved my mouth to her neck and kissed and nibbled as my finger sped up inside of her. She was breathing even more fiercely, so I inserted another finger and bit her earlobe. Once again, I slipped and said something my brother would never ever be caught dead saying to a woman.

But fuck if that wasn't what put her over the edge! She bit down on my shoulder and I swear to fucking God I had to picture my dead grandma to keep from jizzing all up in my boxers. Once she calmed down and was breathing normally, I couldn't stop myself, I had to taste her. And she tasted better than any fucking bitch I had ever tasted before. I kissed her again, plunging my tongue into her mouth while her taste was still apparent. There is nothing hotter than a woman tasting herself on your tongue. _FUCK!_

And then my cell buzzed in my pocket, alerting me Edward was out front. I had told Marcus to text me in plenty of time, so I could get out of there without Edward even knowing. But that fucker must have been preoccupied because Edward was walking in before I had even made it to the door. _Fuck me sideways._

I made our encounter as brief as possible. I knew it was too late and Isabella was behind me witnessing it all. I could feel her, smell her…still practically taste her.

I didn't mean it. I didn't mean to make it sound like I just came to finger fuck her and leave, but he pissed me off and even though he had no clue what I had just done, I had to say it. So, I told him I was leaving and I had gotten what I came for. And I know she fucking heard it. But it was too late, I couldn't take it back.

For the next two days I convinced myself that I had gotten her out of my system. _Yeah right._

I spent every second of every minute of every hour fantasizing about her from the minute I pulled away from her until I found myself standing outside of her dorm room door telling myself _not_ to knock. But I didn't need to knock, because she opened the door as if she knew I was there.

Well, until she started stuttering asking what I was doing there.

I told her I needed to speak with her and invited her to lunch. I tried to smile, but I was so disgusted with myself that I'm not sure it came off looking friendly like I had hoped.

She declined and the selfish prick in me started to get angry. I pulled her out into the hall and closed her door. I offered her coffee as I slowly backed her against the wall.

Again, she declined and said it wasn't a great idea. I begged to differ with her. I told her we could get to know one another. And then she brought up _him_.

And that just pissed me off. I should have walked away. I shouldn't have said what I said, but damn it all to hell…I couldn't get this woman out of my head. I spoke so degradingly to her. Telling her how she should have lunch with me just because I had my fingers in her pussy and then I brought up the fact that I knew Edward hadn't finger fucked her. _God, I'm such an ass. _I even went a further step into asshole by asking her why she hadn't told him about us.

My mouth was so close to her ear and her ear was just sitting there, waiting to be licked, and I couldn't help it. I licked it and sucked her lobe into my mouth. More word vomit spewed from my mouth as I told her how tight she was and how I knew I was her first by how quickly she came on my hand, and then, just to make _sure_ she knew how much of an asshole I was, I made fun of Edward's holding out for love shit.

Finally, she came to her senses and threatened to scream. I could tell by the look in her eyes she was bluffing, but the fact that she felt she needed to threaten me was just what I needed to wake myself up and leave her alone.

Of course, I couldn't leave with any amount of pride intact. I had to basically threaten her with a promise of eating her out later.

_Who'd have thought I could stoop so low?_

I only spiraled further and further into the abyss of evil. I then started watching every move they made together, but I made sure Bella was aware of me. I would look at her seductively, lick my lips, adjust my cock, everything I could to let her know how fucking sick I was. In the deep, dark recesses of my mind I wanted her to realize what I was and to reject me, but until she looked me in the eye and told me she wanted nothing to do with me – and meant it – I couldn't make myself do the right thing.

I gave her the perfect opportunity to do just that one day on her way to meet my pathetic excuse for a brother. I let her know that I watched her, that I saw her curtain opened, and that she _wanted_ me to watch her. I accused her of dreaming of me. She told me to leave her alone, but her eyes were saying something totally different, and so were her hardened nipples. But I wanted her to mean it. I wanted her to tell me to leave her alone and never come back. I grabbed her and promised her to say it like she meant it and I would never bother her again, and I honest to God never would have…even if it meant moving out of state.

But she didn't. She just stood there. So, the cocky-ass part of me then had to accuse her once again of fantasizing about me.

And she slapped the fuck out of me. And God if that didn't turn me right the fuck on. So much so that I didn't even wait until I got home to relieve myself. Like some sick perverted Pee-Wee Herman scenario, I jerked off in the alley beside the fucking coffee shop. _Fuck, this was getting out of hand._

Later that night, I just needed to hear her voice again. I called her cell. I didn't want to talk, I just wanted to hear her. But my traitorous fucking cock stood right up as soon as I heard her answer. Before she even said, 'hello' the second time I had my hand wrapped around my dick and was already pumping the shit out of it, and breathing hard.

Evidently I was a bit louder than I had anticipated because she called me a pervert before she hung up. Lucky for me, I was already close enough that that little outburst didn't hinder me.

I called her four more times that night, speaking to her in French, because I knew from her transcripts that she was fluent in the language. After the first call, she did, in fact close her curtains. She knew it was me. For some reason that made me proud. The last two calls went straight to voicemail – apparently she was done playing my little game.

My final attempt at contact for a while came the following day when she was sitting with Edward just like always. I sent her a text along with the picture Marcus had discreetly taken of me with my hands up her skirt. She managed to keep that from Edward just like everything else, because he didn't storm off, she didn't run out crying, no reactions whatsoever.

I spent the next week and a half concocting a plan to cause a rift in their relationship so I could swoop in once again. I knew that skank Lauren had wanted all up on my junk for some time now. Word gets around fast when sluts are involved. But this bitch was worse than Tanya, so I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole. But _she_ didn't have to know this.

I found her cell number in her records, so I sent her a quick text telling her where I wanted her to meet me. I even told her to come right up to me and 'plant a big sloppy one on me' and I might have puked in my mouth after I said that. I almost felt sorry for Edward. _Almost_.

I stood back and watched the whole scene unfold. I was feeling super smug and almost exuberant about what was taking place. I watched Lauren sit down and in the most disgusting manner stick her tongue down Edward's throat. As if the gods were smiling down upon me, Isabella walked up to the door at that exact moment. I expected her to storm in and knock the shit out of both of them or something, because she was a spitfire, but she didn't. No, she turned and ran away, crying her eyes out.

And I was no longer just a piece of shit. I was _THE BIGGEST_ piece of shit to ever walk the planet. _Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck!_

I couldn't stand that she was crying and it was all because of me. My brother would never ever cheat on her. But I was so sick of him always getting whatever he wants. _What he deserves._

_Shut the fuck up, asshole._

Yes, maybe he deserved her and maybe I didn't. But, I was a pathetic narcissistic asshole and I wasn't going to let him have something that I wanted so bad.

But I couldn't watch her cry. So, I had screwed myself in this scenario. I couldn't waltz in and be the hero brother who swept her off of her feet and became everything she ever wanted. No, because her reaction was the exact opposite of what I expected. She wasn't angry, she was hurt. Which meant…

_She really __**did**__ care for Edward._

I was too ashamed to show my face to my family after that. My sister, Alice, had a way of 'seeing' things. Almost like she was psychic or something and she would be able to tell I had done something horrible. I decided to stay away for Thanksgiving. I didn't deserve to have a happy holiday anyway after what I had done. Isabella wouldn't be having a happy holiday – because of me – so why should I?

Alice called me on Thanksgiving. I didn't answer. Apparently my _not_ showing was enough of an indicator to her that I had done something wrong. _Meddling midget. _I shouldn't be hard on her, though. At least she wasn't a mean meddling midget. She only meddled because she cared.

After I ignored her call, I decided I needed to go out and get plastered. It was only three in the afternoon, but I didn't care, I just needed to get out of my head.

But the odds were stacked against me and I ran smack dab into Isabella. Actually, _she_ ran into me. She asked me why I wasn't with my family and I couldn't tell her the truth, so I made it look like I stayed home to watch her. I even let her know beyond a shadow of a doubt that I knew about Lauren.

However, what _I_ hadn't known was that they had cleared things up. I still let her know it wasn't a misunderstanding. She scurried away from me as fast as she could and in that moment I could tell she wanted me to leave her alone.

So I did.

_Until I couldn't take it anymore._

So, here I am, looking at this confirmation email from Edward to Bella about their sweet little plans for their devirginization date. There were no details, so I have to hack into his account to see what reservations he had made.

The pussy-whipped fucker was going all out, that's for sure. Luckily, I have spent my whole life trying to be the exact opposite of my brother, so it's not even remotely difficult for me to act just like him. I begin to make my plans.

The next five days I work on my 'Edward' makeover. I make sure I am clean shaven. I get used to not wearing gel in my hair. I buy some gay ass rich boy clothes. I pull out the ridiculous matching watch that our father bought us for graduation, because Edward _never_ went without his. I take off the band that I wear on my left arm to cover up my scar, and I put the watch on. It is so awkward to have a watch on your left wrist when you are left-handed, but unless Bella was a complete ignoramus, she would notice if I had my watch on the wrong arm.

I work on my speaking. That's the most important part. First, Edward is so proper. He doesn't use foul language. He speaks kindly at all times. I have to remember how much I have altered my voice to sound different from his as well, and let myself speak naturally. I have to stutter, speak softly, and be all kinds of awkward.

This is a whole freaking lot of work.

_But so fucking worth it in the end._

Or is it? She will never forgive me for this. The only hope I have is that she feels the connection and realizes it's me before this is over.

Edward is picking her up at 8:30, so I call her at eight in order to intercept their plans.

She answers breathlessly and I'm already having dirty thoughts as to what she is doing.

I ask her if I can pick her up early and surprisingly when I speak nervously, it is not an act. I'm really worried that she doesn't want to leave with me. _Me…not Edward._

I tell her I will be there in five minutes. She doesn't know I am less than a block from her dorm, so I don't even need the full five.

She mentions coming out front, but for some reason, I really need this to be like a real date. I need to pick her up at her door. I have never had a serious date before, just many (too many) casual fucks, and I need it to be different with Isabella. I need to show her that I can be the gentleman she wants.

I walk as slow as I possibly can to her door, trying to make it as close to five minutes as I can. When I knock, she jerks the door open so quickly, grinning ear to ear and out of breath.

I'm so fucking happy to see her that I can't help but smile when I ask her if she is in a hurry.

I tell her she looks amazing and she looks me up and down. If I were Edward, I would be blushing, but I am used to the attention and I fucking like it. Especially from her.

All she says is, "Wow."

I laugh and shake my head. I hand her the Star Trek Communicator keychain that I bought for her – since I also know about her obsession of Star Trek, thanks to my brother.

I don't expect her reaction. She wraps her arms around my neck and kisses my cheek thanking me emphatically.

On the way to the restaurant, I take her to Old Man Jenkins' pond that was 'decorated' for New Year's and she responds just like I anticipated. She loves it.

I finally get her to Upstairs on the Square, and I am probably as excited as she is. I have always wanted to eat here.

Being a gentleman around her is almost second nature. It's so very easy. I open her door for her, and lead her into the building by the hand. I can get used to this. I _want_ to get used to this.

I sit across from her so that I can look into her eyes the entire meal. She's so fucking beautiful. I don't even know how I have survived all of these years without looking into her gorgeous eyes. I hold her hand as we eat, rubbing circles on her palm and smiling…naturally fucking smiling – something I rarely do in my life.

A bit more than halfway through our meal I glance up to see her staring skeptically at my hand. That I'm eating with. The _wrong_ fucking hand for _Edward_ to be eating with. Even though it is probably way too late for her observant eyes, I fumble quickly and drop my fork.

Another huge mistake. _Fuck! Edward wouldn't make these kinds of mistakes…_

Isabella sees the scar on my wrist. She almost shouts asking me what happened. I don't want to lie to her, so I kinda just stretch the truth. I tell her that I got in a fight with my brother, which is sorta true and that it was over a girl, which is entirely true. However, the part I twisted was that I had been the one disrespecting the girl and Edward _did_ hit me. I didn't cut my hand until later when I was looking in the mirror – seeing Edward in all of his perfect fucking glory staring back at me – and I punched the mirror, or in essence, I punched Edward.

She reaches out and touches the scar with two fingers and sadly smiles. She says, "That was so noble of you. Your brother sure has a lot to account for, doesn't he?" She shakes her head and looks disappointed. I can't help but think that she's disappointed in _me_…the real me. The one she is referring to at this very moment. All of the horrible things I have done to her come to the surface and I want more than anything to take it all back.

She raises her head to look at me and slips her fingers through mine. She apologizes for the strained fucking relationship I must have with my brother.

I push away the thoughts I have bouncing around in my brain and smirk, saying, "It has its advantages, though." _Namely what I am getting ready to have the opportunity to do to you._

Our server comes back at the perfect time so I can avoid explaining the sentence that just slipped out of my mouth. Neither of us wants dessert, so I inform her of another surprise I have and ask if she is ready to leave.

Of course she responds with something about being inadequate because she has nothing special for me, but little does she know that what she is getting ready to give me is the most special thing she could ever give. _And I'm about to fucking steal it from her…_

We make it to the hotel, I show my ID – luckily when you make reservations, it is by last name only and my ID is sufficient – grab the keycard and head to the elevator.

I push the button for the twenty-fourth floor and she starts to get anxious. Then I worry, wondering if Edward would really make reservations for such a high floor not knowing if she was afraid of heights.

She assures me she isn't afraid of heights – thank God – and I whisper in her ear that it is part of her surprise. She shivers and I ask her if she is cold, while wrapping my arms around her. She tells me she is not, but that my touching her and whispering in her ear is doing amazing things to her body.

_Fuck me._

I don't even realize I had just growled at her until she asks me, "Did you just…growl at me?" She giggles.

She absolutely loves the room. I wish I could take credit for it, but it was all Edward's doing. Stupid fucker surely knows how to woo a woman.

The part I can – and do – take credit for is view of the fireworks. I don't know for sure if Edward had planned to show her the fireworks or not, but I know about them so I plan to sit in front of them with her.

She is so excited, but then she teasingly asks me if I am trying to get her drunk.

_Oh no, Isabella. I want you to be fully sober for what I am going to do to you._

I tell her how a drink will help her to relax, and I start to massage her shoulders. She immediately relaxes under my fingertips. She moans and drops her head forward, bringing my _lower_ head to life. She asks me something, but all I can focus on is the feel of her skin under my fingers and the skin in front of my lips inviting me to kiss it. So I do.

I trail my hands down her arms and kiss across from one shoulder to the other. I intertwine our fingers and cross her arms in front of her, pulling her back into me. I whisper in her ear telling her how perfect she is and I kiss the hollow beneath her ear. Her breath stutters when I lick her there, and I realize if I don't stop right now, we won't be watching the fireworks. I tell her as much and she suggests we at least attempt to watch the fireworks.

I walk slowly to the champagne, adjusting my excruciatingly hard dick and taking deep breaths to calm myself down.

I come back and sit beside her, pouring us each a glass and holding mine up to toast. She looks at me in question and I say, "To being ready."

She sips, I gulp. I can't help it. I know what I am about to do is horribly wrong and I should totally be manning up and leaving, but I can't. I have to have her. I…I…I can't say what I am, but I have never felt this way for anyone before in my whole freaking life.

I set my drink on the small table beside me and grab Isabella to pull her in my lap. She rests her back against my chest and places her glass beside mine. I rub her arms and kiss her cheek. I whisper, "I want to make this as easy as possible for you, Bella. I know it's going to be uncomfortable no matter what, but I want it to be the best it could possibly be for you. Promise me you will tell me if it's too much, okay?"

And I mean every fucking word of it. I know how much I have already hurt her and I can't bear to hurt her anymore.

_What the fuck do you think you are getting ready to do?_

_Make her fall in love with me…hopefully._

She promises.

The grandfather clock begins to chime and I remember that superstition my Grandmother used to believe: _The person you kiss at the stroke of midnight is the person you will be with throughout the year._

So I tell her Happy New Year and I kiss her…with all of the passion I have in me. I want to spend the rest of my life with this woman, not just the rest of the year. We both groan when my tongue comes in contact with hers, and I can't stop my hands from lowering to her waist, her hips, and then her thighs. When my fingers touch her bare skin, I pull my face back, breathless and rest my forehead on her temple. "You're so soft. So soft. Perfect." I don't mean to say it out loud, but it's too late.

She suggests we move to the bed and my heart stutters. This is it. It's really going to happen. She's going to be mine. I make sure she is positive and I lift her from my lap. I stand behind her, wrapping my arms around her waist and rest my chin on her shoulder. "Okay. Okay." I twist her dress in my palms and take several deep breaths, steeling myself for this life-changing moment that is getting ready to take place.

She starts to walk toward the bed and then runs toward the front door. _She's changed her mind. She can't go through with it._

She comes walking back to the bed and I have to admit, I am still staring in shock. I really thought she was gone. She has a bag. She's blushing profusely and explains that she has done research and has come prepared. She closes her eyes, obviously in embarrassment and I think it's the cutest fucking thing ever. She opens her eyes to see me smiling.

I reach out to take the bag and start going through it. She freaks out. She tries to take it back from me, but I'm taller, so I hold it out of her reach and laugh. I tell her it's just as much for me as it is for her and she huffs and pouts, but concedes.

She says she's mortified and then I feel bad. I tell her not to be embarrassed and that there is nothing sexier than a prepared woman. I'm doing my damnedest to not laugh about that. Little does she know, she is so sexy without even trying, so it doesn't really matter.

She has brought the essentials – most of which I hadn't even thought of because I am an inconsiderate asshole. I _do_ have condoms, though, I'm not _that_ much of a douche. Then I come across…_tampons?_ I kinda start to freak out. I'm not about to do this if she is on her period. Hell to the no. And it's not because I think it's so fucking nasty…but I'm not about to embarrass the shit out of her.

She assures me that I am a complete idiot to think she would be doing this if she was indeed on her period, and then she explains to me something else I failed to think about. _Afterwards._

There's one last thing in the bag. _WHAT IN THE HOLY FUCK?_

I start to wonder what in the hell kind of plans she has up her sleeve when she explains to me that she read it's easier for the first time. Poor thing, she's mortified. And it's all my fault. If I had thought to 'research' like she had, I might have known about this little tidbit of information.

I place the bag on the floor and the lube and condoms on the bed. I walk behind her and place my hands on her waist. I apologize for embarrassing her and ask her to forgive me. I kiss her neck and she shrugs and mumbles, 'maybe', but I can tell it's a definite 'yes'. I trail my hands up her sides and my fingers graze the sides of her breasts and she moans, leaning back into me. I tell her to relax and pull her earlobe into my mouth. I fucking love her earlobes.

I slowly unzip her dress, trailing my other hand behind the zipper pull, touching every inch of bare skin now being revealed. She is driving me insane and she doesn't even know it.

Once her dress is on the floor, I am able to see the sexy ass lingerie she is wearing. _Fuck. Me._

"Exquisite." I think that slips out, but I can't be too sure, I have lost the ability to distinguish thoughts from actual speaking.

My hands are on her hips again, and I can't resist her ass anymore…especially in her sexy lacy panties. I squeeze her cheeks and kiss between her shoulder blades. I kiss down her back and my hands slip slowly around her hips to the front of her waist.

I am now on my knees – something you would _never_ catch me doing with another woman – kissing her lower back, my fingers heading to the heat they have been dreaming of since their last encounter. I lower her panties and once they pool around her ankles she tries to cover herself. I stop her, and pull her hands back to my shoulders.

I kiss further down as my fingers dip further down as well. I kiss her right ass cheek as I slip two fingers into her. She gasps and I am in heaven. I kiss and nibble every inch of her ass in front of me as my fingers start a sensational rhythm. She grips my shoulders tighter and I can feel her knees shaking beneath her. She's close, so I slip my thumb to her clit and nip her ass a bit roughly.

She nearly screams as she comes all over my fingers while digging hers into my shoulders. I kiss once more as I pull my fingers out and rise to my feet. I kiss her neck and slowly remove her bra straps, kissing beneath each one. I start to unbuckle the clasp when she turns quickly. I can't help it – I'm a guy for God's sake – and I look straight at her pussy. Her fucking beautiful, magnificent pussy, just laid bare for me to do with what I please.

Don't get me wrong. I have seen more than enough pussies in my time. Real-life ones, ones in pornos, ones in magazines. You name it, I have seen it. But I had never seen one belonging to someone I…I…_cared_ about. Yes, I can say it now. I _care_ for Isabella. So fucking much. So much, I can't breathe. She clears her throat and lowers her head and I realize I'm just fucking staring at her and she's probably getting all self-conscious about the way she looks.

I pull her face up by her chin and I tell her what I'm really feeling. Because, it _is_ fucking spectacular.

She turns beet red and explains that she doesn't like being naked with me fully clothed and I have to admit that I can't blame her there.

I start to loosen my tie and she stops me and asks if she can. _Fuck yeah, you can!_

We both stand naked in front of each other and I make the first move…basically because I can't fucking wait another minute to touch her. I pinch both of her nipples and she sighs. I walk her back to the bed. We both climb onto the bed and I'm sitting on my knees before her.

I cup her face between my hands and make one hundred percent sure she is ready for this. She doesn't even think about it, she nods and I kiss her as I lower her onto her back.

I kiss along her jaw, down her neck and to her collarbone. I almost reach her right breast and I give her one more chance to back out. But she's ready. She arches her back so that her nipple barely touches my lips. That's all the invitation I need. I twirl my tongue around her hardened nipple and she then has her hands buried in my hair as she arches her back further and moans loudly. I twist her other nipple with my hand and reach for the condoms with my other hand. If I don't hurry, I won't be coming inside her. She is so fucking sexy when she moans and the sound goes straight to my aching cock.

I'm trying to suck one tit and pinch the other and open a condom at the same time. I am a multi-tasker, but even _this_ is a bit much. Lucky for me, she realizes this and takes out a condom herself and opens it.

I slip the condom on and I raise up onto my elbows again. I run my fingers through her hair and tell her I'm going to be as gentle as possible and try to go slowly. She starts to shake her head and I think that now is a pretty fucking crappy time to change her mind.

Then she says I need to do it fast, like a Band-Aid. And I think she's fucking insane. I ask her if she's sure and she is, and since _she_ did the research and I didn't, I figure maybe she knows what's best.

I kiss her forehead and then her lips and position myself on my knees at her entrance. I squirt some lubricant on my fingers and rub her entrance. She jerks at first and I know it's because it's fucking cold, so I continue to rub to warm it up. She closes her eyes and I move closer to her entrance.

She grips the comforter beneath her and I take one of her hands, threading my fingers through hers and mumble, "Like a Band-Aid," and shove into her quickly. I freeze. I know I hurt her. I know it. I can't move until I know she is okay. She opens her eyes and I ask her if she is okay.

She fucking giggles. She tells me it was a piece of cake and that it wasn't near as bad as she expected.

_Well, slap my ass and call me Suzie._

I breathe a sigh of relief and tell her how relieved I am.

She suddenly looks awkward and then says, "Aren't you supposed to like…move?" and she fucking giggles again.

Then I feel like a fucktard who doesn't know how to even have sex. I laugh nervously and kiss her. She starts to kiss me back and then I'm back in the zone. I start pumping slowly, but I know I can't keep this pace. It's the most fucking amazing feeling I have ever felt. I can't keep kissing her, I need to focus or I'm gonna hurt her. I move my face to her neck and continue to rock, gaining speed.

"I never…oh God…I never knew. It's so much more…so much better." So much better when you care about the person who's underneath you. I kiss her neck and thrust faster. My breaths are getting faster and I'm so close.

She squeezes my hand and places the other hand on the side of my face. I pull back and look at her and see _love_ in her eyes and I realize that _that_ is what I am feeling. _Love._ Fucking love.

I moan and say, "Bella, I…I love…" _you, I love you, Bella._ "Oh God…it feels so good." I squeeze my eyes shut because I can't look at her without telling her. I groan out her name as I cum harder than I ever have before.

I collapse onto her, completely euphoric. It was so much more than I expected. It was amazing.

I finally catch my breath and pull out of her. I fucking hate condoms. I hate cleaning up after them. I explain that I have to clean myself up and she laughs at me.

I bring back a washcloth and offer to clean her up but she refuses saying she can handle it. She runs to the bathroom and I flop down on the bed, completely content. She comes back and jumps on the bed laughing and asking if I plan to stay naked.

She's not a fan of sleeping in the nude, so reluctantly, I put on my boxers in order to not be out of place next to her. I pull her under the blanket with me and we spoon. Just like on those girly fucking romance movies. And I couldn't be happier.

I wrap my arm around her waist and slip my fingers between her, kiss beneath her ear and thank her.

She asks what for and I tell her, "Trusting me."

And then my whole world shatters.

"Of course I trust you, Edward."

_Edward._

Not Mace. No, because she never fucking realized it was me. The whole night, she thought I was Edward. I didn't get her to fall in love with _me_. No, I probably made her fall in love with my fucking brother. I fucked up. Majorly.

And now, here I lay with the woman I realize I am in love with, who loves someone who is my exact opposite. And I'm the world's biggest fucking prick.

I have to get the fuck out of here. I had had many months of practice pretending to be asleep while I was in juvenile detention, so it's only a matter of minutes before she thinks I'm asleep. She squeezes my hand and I mumble, "I love you," just because I want to be able to say it before my world comes crashing down.

She's asleep within a few minutes, so I sneak out quietly. I can't spend another minute with her knowing how much I have just ruined her life. She's going to hate me when she wakes up and I can't be there to see it.

There's only one place I can go and I hate to even think it. But she's the only one who will hear me out and not judge. She has always understood me, even when I was at my worst. She has loved me and been forgiving of all of my wrongdoings.

I pull out my phone and click on the first person in my list.

She answers on the first ring. "Mace. What have you done?" Alice asks, crying.

**Do you still hate me? I hope not, but either way, I will give you an extra teaser for GBB if you review this little outtake, so I know it's being read, 'cause, well… it's kinda important to the plot ;)**


	3. The Cards Are Stacked Against Me

Remember, my outtakes are not beta'd so please excuse any mistakes. :)

Please forgive Edward, he's new to this whole relationship thing. He doesn't know how to handle his emotions. I hope you can forgive his irrational behavior. He's so dorky and sweet. It's not his fault ;)

This starts with the email on Christmas Day.

**The Cards Are Stacked Against Me**

EPOV

I stared at the email. Surely she didn't mean…

_Nahh_.

I quickly typed up an email back to her.

_Bella,_

_Don't play games with me. It's Christmas, you shouldn't tease on Christmas._ _:(_

_Are you enjoying your time in the sleepy town of Forks?_

_I miss you terribly._

_Edward_

She responded, telling me she wasn't teasing, so I immediately called her.

"Hello, Edward." I could hear the smile in her voice.

Over the next few minutes we spoke. She assured me she was ready, but I wasn't sure, so I asked her a few questions and made promises of how I'd wait for her.

But then she blew me away. She admitted to me that she actually _dreamed_ of my penis. My ego went up at least ten notches then and there. I was certain that every male in the entire history of the world wanted his woman to dream of his manhood.

Reluctantly, I admitted to her that I had done the same thing. Of course, I didn't go into details. I was sure she didn't want to know all of the ways I had dreamed of taking her. I was mortified to even think the things I had dreamed. Of course, that didn't mean that every morning after waking up to those dreams, I didn't have to go… er, _relieve_ some tension. I was disgusted with myself the whole time my hand was wrapped around my erection and I was imagining Bella in very degrading positions. I'd bang my head against the shower wall to keep from calling out her name when I reached my climax.

_Yeah, she doesn't need to know just __**how**__ perverted you are…_

I told her my plans – plans that, yes, I had made ages ago, during one of my… er, relief sessions. She snorted and I realized that it probably sounded very forward, so I became instantly nervous. She admitted that she loved the ideas, so we ended the call in order for me to make the plans.

It didn't take much time to make the reservations – thanks to Pop's black Visa card. I quickly forwarded her the details and then started another search. A private, special search.

I wanted to make sure that our night was as comfortable as possible for her. I knew that it was going to be difficult for her already, but I was also fairly certain I could find ways to make it easier.

I spent the next hour researching and mentally taking notes and compiling a list of things to pick up at the store – again, also mentally.

oOo

I was waiting in the terminal for her plane to land. I paced so much that an elderly man placed his hand on my shoulder and said, "She must really be special. You have darn near walked a hole into the floor here." He chuckled and patted my back before he walked away.

They announced her flight, and I immediately ran in the right direction. I saw her as soon as she entered the room. It was as if the sea of people parted and the way to my promised land was opened before me.

When she reached me, I wrapped my arms around her and attacked her lips with my own.

"Mmm, I missed you, Umbella. So freaking much." I lifted her and spun in a circle causing her to giggle and squeal. Setting her down, I grabbed her face with both hands and kissed her again passionately. She grabbed the front of my jacket and pulled me closer to her, moaning against my lips, and arching her back, pressing her chest to mine.

Chuckling, I pulled away and whispered, "Maybe we should, um…get out of the middle of this crowd before we get carried away?"

She gasped and blushed. I loved it when she blushed; she was so adorable. "I forgot. I was oblivious to our surroundings for a minute." She giggled.

The taxi ride back to the dorms was spent with her in my arms as I twisted a lock of her hair around my finger and occasionally stole kisses between our conversations.

"I don't want to leave you. I just got you back." I pouted and hugged her outside of her dorm.

She giggled and said, "You act like we were apart for months or something. And besides, we'll be together again in less than twenty hours." She smiled bashfully.

I kissed her on the nose and grinned. "I know, but I still don't want to leave." I wrapped my arms tightly around her waist and kissed her passionately.

oOo

Ma always said, "A watched pot never boils," and I had never been proven that very phrase until New Year's Eve. Because it was that day that I stared at the clock, willing it to move faster, but it seemed to move slower than ever before.

I was to pick up Bella at eight-thirty, and I didn't want to seem anxious, even though anxious was an understatement for how I was feeling, so I wanted to make sure not to be early.

So when I knocked on her door at eight-twenty-nine, I was put out by the fact that she didn't answer right away. I waited. I knocked again.

I thought that possibly she was in the shower, though it wasn't like her to be late. Maybe something came up. Her dad might have called? Still, I would think she would have called me or texted me or something.

I waited outside her room, occasionally knocking again, with the hopes of her emerging. Finally, after twenty minutes, I texted her. I listened through the door for her phone, just in case – heaven forbid –she was inside and unconscious or something. I didn't hear the phone, and after ten minutes, with no response, I started to freak out. I knocked on a few doors to see if anyone had heard something distressful or anything.

After I finally asked everyone on her floor, the floor below and above, I realized that she was simply… gone. I had already texted her again with worry, but at this point I had wondered if she stood me up. I texted her once more and this time asked her if she was backing out on me and she could have just told me if so.

However, when I made it back to her room and found Angela, I regretted that text right away.

"She was getting all primped for your date when I left today. She was so excited. And if something happened, I know she would have contacted me… she always does," Angela said, pulling out her phone and typing a quick message.

We talked briefly, both of us contemplating where she could have run off to. I finally decided to walk around campus, even though I thought it would be useless, but at least it would take my mind off things.

I continued to text her every so often, really starting to worry. I finally ended up sitting outside her door at three in the morning with my stomach twisted in knots.

oOo

I texted her one last time at five before my eyes started to cross, unable to keep them opened any longer.

A slamming door startled me awake and I shot up like an arrow. Bella just stood there, shock evident on her face. I jumped to my feet and ran to her, wrapping my arms around her telling her how happy I was that she was okay. I even lifted her off the ground and spun a few times.

I placed her back on her feet, and pulled back to look her in the eye when I realized she had been crying. I started to freak out. Had she been hurt? Had something happened to her dad? I started asking her questions when it hit me like a ton of bricks; she was wearing a very nice dress, as if she had been out on a date, and it was a wrinkled mess. _Please, please don't let it be what I think it is…_

I asked her where she came from and she suggested we go someplace alone. And then I knew. My world had just fallen apart.

I asked her again and she tried once more to convince me to go somewhere. I started to lose it. I gripped her hips roughly and told her I needed to know where she had been. I demanded.

She was then crying harder and started to apologize and I knew beyond a shadow of a doubt, and yet, I didn't want to believe it. I wouldn't accept it. I stepped back, shook my head, trying to get the images out that were invading my mind. "Bella… for God's sake, will you please tell me where you were?"

She slid to her knees and dug the stake deeper into my heart. "At the hotel."

I'm not exactly sure what I said at that point. I pretty much blacked out. I know I said some really harsh things because I can still see the look on her face. I vaguely remember her trying to make excuses. Excuses. Everyone's got excuses. There was no excuse. If she cared for me like she claimed, she would have known if someone else had their lips on her… their hands on her… dammit, what else did he do to her? I couldn't look at her anymore. I couldn't bear to think of my brother doing the things I had dreamed of doing to her. I couldn't handle imagining her _enjoying_ her time with him. Him getting to see her look of ecstasy when she came.

I walked away. I had to get out of there. I had to leave before I said things I didn't mean… or at least, wouldn't mean later when I came to my senses. She stopped me before I opened the door. I wasn't able to leave quick enough. I said things that would hurt her. I said things I could never take back. I watched her heart fall from her chest and land on the floor and instead of comforting her, I smashed it under my feet.

I turned and walked away.

oOo

_BANG, BANG, BANG_

"I know you're in there, you better open the door! I swear to God I'll kick it down!" I screamed.

I heard the chain slide on the other side of the door.

Mace opened the door, but didn't let me inside, he stepped out with me, closing the door behind him.

"If you think standing out here will make me act more civilized, you have another think coming!"

He looked like hell warmed over. His hair was messier than mine on a bad day. He had dark rings under his eyes and he looked like he'd been… crying?

"I'm not trying to get you to be more civilized, Edward, I just don't want anything in my house broken. I know what you are here for, and you have every right to be, so have at it." His words were slurred and drawn out as if he didn't have enough energy to merely speak.

"Why? Just tell me why."

I wanted to bash his face in. I went over there with every intention of beating him to a pulp, but seeing him already looking defeated made the pacifist in me back off momentarily.

"I don't have the answers you want, Eddy boy. I'm a fuck up. We all know this. I fucked up, like always. I deserve whatever you want to throw at me, so I won't even try to stop you."

He wouldn't even look me in the eye. His eyes, from what I could tell, were bloodshot and drooping. He resembled the walking dead.

How was I supposed to fight him when he already looked like he'd been beaten? And if he wouldn't fight back – what kind of resolution was that?

"You're right. You deserve whatever I could throw at you and so much more, but… I'm not gonna stoop to your level, Mace. You can just sit there and wallow in your sorrow. Know that you had to _trick_ her to be with you. Know that she _hates_ herself for what happened. She didn't want to be with you. Now she will live the rest of her life regretting how she lost the one thing most precious to her. And it was all. your. fault. I'm not gonna hit you. Physical pain heals. If you have even the slightest sliver of a heart inside that chest, seeing her life destroyed should hit you where it _really_ hurts. But then again, I said _if_ you have a heart, which after what you pulled, I really wonder about that."

It took everything I had, but I walked away. I didn't hit him. I didn't get any satisfaction in seeing his blood spilled. But, he looked defeated before I got there, so maybe, just maybe, he got his.

oOo

I knew I couldn't sit next to Bella without wanting to talk to her, touch her, kiss her…

So, I stood outside the classroom until I noticed a girl who sat several rows away and I gave her some lame explanation for needing to sit closer to the front of the room. I explained to her who sat beside me and that she could really use a friend right now, something I was sure to be true.

I quickly turned off my phone, knowing that if _when_ she texted me – because I knew she would – I couldn't ignore her, and I would text back. As soon as I opened the door I felt her eyes on me, even though I didn't look in her direction. I went straight to my seat and pulled out my books for distraction. I needed something to keep my eyes away from the place they were automatically drawn to.

I didn't hear a thing that went on in class. I felt like every nerve in my body was drawn to the back of the class. Every noise made, I was sure came from her. Every cough. Every sneeze. Every book shuffle.

As class dismissed, I was stunned when the girl beside me asked if I was related to Alice. We didn't look anything alike. Most people didn't connect us since she now went by her married name. I confirmed that I was related to Alice and as I stood from my seat I asked how she knew her. She explained they shared common interests and I leaned forward as if it were a secret and asked if she was also a Flower Child. She began laughing hysterically, and placed her hand on my forearm.

It didn't feel right. Having someone else touch me in a way that Bella touched me was like playing with fire. It burned. I didn't like it one bit. However, I didn't have much time to reflect on the sensation because I heard a commotion coming from behind me. Bella was screaming at Emmett.

She must have seen what just happened. And that broke my heart. I didn't want her to think our relationship meant so little to me that I would go and find someone else so quickly.

"I'm sorry…" I didn't even know her name.

"Bree," she said smiling.

"I'm sorry, Bree, but I have to go, I'm gonna be late for my next class." It was a bold-faced lie, but I needed to get out of there and…

_And what?_

"Oh, I understand! I'm actually in a hurry, too. Listen, it was good talking to you. It's nice to meet family of Alice's." She smiled politely and began walking toward the door along side me.

"Speaking of which, how did you know we were related? We look nothing alike," I asked as I held the door opened for her.

"Well, in one of our _flowery_ encounters, she pulled out a photo album and I remember seeing you in it." She started giggling with the 'flowery' reference.

I looked up at that moment to see Bella standing at the end of the hall with Emmett. She looked completely defeated. He put his arm around her and they walked out of the building together.

I waved goodbye to Bree and made my way back to my room so I could sulk in peace.

oOo

Every day was harder than the last. Seeing Bella was excruciating. Seeing her looking like she was on the verge of crying was even worse. After the day Bree first spoke to me, Bella never once looked at me again. She was the last in the room and the first to leave. It broke me in two to watch her suffering. But I just couldn't get past what had happened. I couldn't look in her eyes and know she had given herself completely to my brother. Even if it _had_ been an accident, which I had come to terms with it having been. That was the hardest part. I knew it wasn't her fault

I knew I was being childish in avoiding Bella for so long, but I couldn't be near her without wanting to hold her and the thought of holding her hurt more than I could imagine. I dreamed of it every night, and every night I woke up when she called me Mace… breathlessly, erotically.

I had started going to counseling. I didn't want to have the hateful feelings toward Bella that I was having. It wasn't her fault and I knew this. I had a lot of hate for my brother, but not as much as Bella, and I knew that wasn't fair. My therapist and I had come to the conclusion that I had grown to expect as much from Mace, so it was easier for me to forgive him than it was Bella, who I _loved_. Yes, we had determined that I loved her. I tried to deny it. I tried to fight it. But it wasn't possible. I loved her and nothing could change that. Not my brother or myself. I needed to get past this resentment so that I could move toward forgiving her.

I was given the opportunity a month after the incident. Mace came to my dorm and conceded. He had been crying for sure this time. He didn't even try to hide it. He said I had won. I could have her. He wouldn't fight anymore. He said she belonged to me and he was backing away. He apologized but admitted he didn't expect my forgiveness because he had done the unforgivable.

As he turned to walk away, I called out to him. He stopped, but didn't look at me.

"You're my brother. What you did was wrong, yes, but I will always forgive you. I love you, man." I stepped in front of him and pulled him into a hug. "Thank you. Thank you for stepping down. I don't want to have to compete with you."

He didn't say anything back. He quickly hugged me back and left.

oOo

I continued with my counseling. My therapist and I both agreed that I shouldn't pursue Bella until I was one hundred percent sure I could let bygones be bygones. He had me doing 'assignments' which would let him know if I was at that stage yet. Silly assignments like 'what would you do if…'. I told him that anyone can say what they _think_ they would do, but when the time came, what they actually did would be different. He grinned when he agreed, but he said that my _intentions_ were what would determine how I really felt about Bella.

One day, my resolve was tested. And I failed. I was walking back from the library and I ran into Bree. She asked me about Alice. I made some joke about her being at a Grateful Dead concert. She laughed and I couldn't help but smile. She was just so easy going, it was hard not to enjoy her company. Right at that time, I noticed Bella at out of the corner of my eye.

The testosterone-ridden idiot in me wanted to make her jealous. I don't know why. I had already hurt her and made her think I had moved on. That wasn't good enough. I was an ass. I looked at Bree like I used to look at Bella. It was easy to do. I simply imagined she was Bella. I lifted my hand, and brushed my thumb across her cheek. Her eyes were as big as saucers. I grinned crookedly and told her she had an eyelash on her cheek.

My stupid little plan was ruined because not even thirty seconds later, Bree's boyfriend walked up and wrapped his arm around her waist. She hugged him and then made the introductions. We shook hands and exchanged pleasantries before they walked away together.

I could feel myself blushing in embarrassment. I rubbed the back of my neck, bit my lip and glanced over at Bella to see if she had witnessed the entire exchange.

_Yes, yes she did._

And I walked away mortified.

oOo

Every year I went to the Star Trek Convention, and this year I had hoped to bring Bella with me. However, I still hadn't fixed things between us, and I wasn't about to have our first 'date' back together be in the midst of a bunch of crazed lunatic fans. So, I resigned to go alone. Again.

It was time for the questions to the panel. I had no questions to be answered. I had either asked them already or just wasn't feeling up to par to ask them at that time. I was really just sitting there wishing the time would pass so I could go home. I wasn't enjoying the convention even the slightest bit. All I could think about was how much I had wanted to come with Bella.

I was in the middle of one of my daydreams of how I would go about pursuing Bella when the time was right when suddenly I heard her voice. At that moment, I wondered just how delusional I was that I had begun having auditory hallucinations.

My hallucinations even stuttered just like Bella.

"Um… hello, I um… I actually have a bit of an elaborate question, so if you could bear with me, that would be great. In the episode, 'The Enemy Within', Captain Kirk was beamed up as two parts – one evil and one good. No one recognized the animalistic Kirk until he behaved differently. Yeoman even argued with the good Kirk regarding it truly being him who had behaved badly. Even after the captain warns the crew about his evil self, the evil Kirk was able to deceive them once again. So, my question to you is, how easy would it be for a pair of identical twins to deceive someone close to one of them?"

In the midst of the speech, I looked over and sure enough, it was Bella standing at the microphone.

I don't know what came over me, but I jumped up and asked if I could make an argument. I was motioned to go ahead.

I stepped to the mic and began, "Can I first just say what an honor it is to meet you guys face to face? I know every single episode by heart. I am one of your biggest fans." The panel thanked me and I then continued, making sure not to look Bella in the eye. "In that episode, the captain was essentially split in two, his good side, and his evil side, therefore, how can any hypothesis be made about identical twins based on this? Identical twins being two _separate_ people?"

Why I was arguing with her – and in public for that matter – I had no idea. I wanted to work things out with her, not make things worse. But I couldn't stop my word vomit.

Luckily, she was so much smarter than I. She had a rebuttal. And it was damn good.

"Okay, I can see the point in this instance, however, there was also the episode, 'What are Little Girls Made Of?' we have a very similar situation, but a bit more complex and more along the lines of twins. In that episode, Nurse Chapel hears her fiancé, Dr. Korby and looks at the captain explaining, 'have you ever been engaged? I know that is Roger'. Once she sees him, she kisses and embraces him and all throughout the episode, she never doubts him once. She is also deceived by the android Captain Kirk, but that isn't as relevant as the deceit by her fiancé. So, again, my question is, in your opinion, how plausible is it for identical twins to trick someone who…" her voice began to shake. "Loves one of them?"

As she said the last four words – the words that knocked the breath out of me – I saw a tear slip down her face. She abruptly turned and began walking away. Not even listening to their answer. Of course, I wasn't listening either.

I couldn't let her leave. Completely disregarding anyone speaking from the panel, I grabbed the mic and said, "Umbella."

She slowly turned to me. Several more tears had gathered with the first one.

I begged her, "Say it again?" I needed to know she really said it and I hadn't just imagined it.

She nearly shouted, "I love you, Edward. Only you. I'm so sorry. But I can't take it back. You are the only man I will ever love. I swear this to you."

She _did_ say it. I _hadn't_ imagined it.

So I confessed that I had loved her from the very beginning. I made my way to her as the room boomed with applause. It was in that moment that I realized our whole confrontation had been witnessed by hundreds of people, and most likely even televised. _Oh joy._

But, once I reached her at the back of the room, wrapped my arms around her and kissed her with all the passion in the world… no one else existed. No one else mattered. I didn't care if the whole universe witnessed what just happened. I had my Bella back. All was right in the world.

oOo

We had shared a cab back to campus, hand in hand.

Suddenly she turned to me and asked if we could start over again.

She was just too easy to tease, so I couldn't help myself, and I told her no. She immediately looked crushed, so I ducked down and explained why.

"I can't go back to not touching you again, Bella. I can't go back to being shy and awkward again. Now that I know what it's like to kiss you, touch you, feel you… I can't deny myself that anymore. These last two months have been pure torture. I can't go another day without being able to feel you again."

She wrapped her arms around my neck and sobbed into my shoulder, telling me she loved me and apologizing again.

That night she came clean with more things that had been hidden from me. I wanted to be angry, but I remembered that I had agreed to forgive her of _everything_. It was over, it was done. It would never happen again, so I would just forget about it.

Besides, the first incident was just as much my fault. Even though she wouldn't let me take any blame for it.

oOo

The next day we were meeting Alice at the coffee shop. I told Bella to head on over and I would place our orders.

I was chatting with the guy standing beside me at the counter when I heard someone shouting, "Don't move!"

The first thing that went through my mind was someone holding up the place, so I froze. I wanted to go to Bella and Alice to protect them, but I had always been told to remain perfectly still if you are in a hostage situation; heroes get shot, and shot people are no good to anyone.

However, I could then hear what was being said and realized it was coming from Mace. And he sounded maniacal.

"NO! There is no talking! He stole her from me! She's mine! She doesn't love him! She loves me! She wants me, not him! He's trying to steal her. Like he did Mom and Dad. He stole them from me. They loved him more than me. He's trying to make Bella do the same thing. She loves _ME_, not him!"

I quickly started walking in their direction and heard him continue, "Isabella. Can't you see? I'm doing this for you. I know you don't want to hurt him. Now, you don't have to. I love you, and I know you love me, too."

Mace reached down and jerked Bella up by her wrist and I shouted, "Let her go, Mace!" as I ran toward him. But I didn't get very far before I heard a deafening bang and the room went black.


End file.
